"Genesis 1-2 tells us we were created to live in a world in which all relationships were whole because God was the King. But Genesis 3 tells the next part of our story: that we have each chosen to be our own king. We have gone the way of self-centeredness. And self-centeredness destroys relationships. There’s nothing that makes you more miserable or less interesting than self-absorption: how am I feeling, how am I doing, how are people treating me, am I proving myself, am I succeeding, am I failing, am I being treated justly? Self-absorption leaves us static." Static. There’s no room to dance because there’s no room for the Other to dance with us. At most, we are dancing with ourselves, which is arguably not dancing at all. Not truly, not fully. Not when God Himself intended for the wild freeing movement of forgetting ourselves and taking up the joy of honoring the Other.
"Another night spent tossing and turning, now I’m wrapped up in my coziest blanket on the back porch watching the color flirt with this brand new day, as jetliners ballroom dance across the candy canvased sky and birds and insects join together in a raucous chorus of praises and new mercies, and still, and still I sit beneath it all smaller than ever watching wide-eyed as my Father sets the night on fire. Perhaps the perk of battling the night is simply the gift of each new day, to see the first hints of color in the morning sky, brought by each too long night finally, finally set ablaze. "
One of the richest blessings in my life is having my parents (and their home) to run to, no questions asked, and to be fully embraced in an instant- they don’t even wait for me to reach the front door because they see me coming down the road and meet me at my car with the most unconditional love you’ll find this side of heaven. I didn’t know it was possible to have a heart so full, especially in painful seasons, but Jesus continues to open my heart to receive *even more* of his goodness somehow. You guys, He is the real deal and committing myself to trust Him was the best thing I ever did and will ever do.
A friend said to me today, “I know that I’ve messed up in our friendship. I grieve over and over again the ways I fell short here. I regret it but I can’t take it back because I didn’t know then what I know now about loving others. I could just go and find another friend. But there is only one You. And I love you and I want your friendship, and you can’t be replaced by a different less messy clean slated new friendship somewhere else.”
And I said to her, “Gosh. You have literally just said my heart back to me. That’s EXACTLY what I’m learning in a different situation. And because I am learning it, and learning to see and grieve and grow through my own shortcomings, I can tell you wholeheartedly that I forgive you and I love you and I want in with you, too. Because there is only one You. And there is only one Me. and there is only one You & Me friendship, and I’m so okay with the mess and I’m so at peace with the unclean slate that comes from our human hearts trying hard to reach the other one.”
God is blowing my world up right now and I love it beyond measure. Thank you Jesus for your commitment to my growth. Beauty > happiness.