my crown and my joy

"And yet there will be beauty. This the constant immutable refrain of my too tired heart. Yes there is sorrow in this world there is loss and there will be pain yes to all those things yes. Oh but there will be beauty. And in it, there will be life. This is what I have learned. This is what I have seen with my own eyes. This is the song I have begun to sing each day: there be beauty. There will be life. And it will be worth it."

"And yet there will be beauty. This the constant immutable refrain of my too tired heart. Yes there is sorrow in this world there is loss and there will be pain yes to all those things yes. Oh but there will be beauty. And in it, there will be life. This is what I have learned. This is what I have seen with my own eyes. This is the song I have begun to sing each day: there be beauty. There will be life. And it will be worth it."

Restful rest.

Restful rest.

I’m at a crossroads in life; there are so many paths before me. I know that He goes with me wherever I go, but I wrestle with the decision to stay on the ground or to walk on the water. And most days, I wrestle with which way is up and down, sky and earth, let alone water or land. Yes I know that He goes with me, sure, but sometimes that’s really all I know. So I stand on the ledges and I watch and wait for delicate things to unfold either into beauty or into ash. 
Glory, in my opinion, always did exist in the tension of such stark contrasts.

I’m at a crossroads in life; there are so many paths before me. I know that He goes with me wherever I go, but I wrestle with the decision to stay on the ground or to walk on the water. And most days, I wrestle with which way is up and down, sky and earth, let alone water or land. Yes I know that He goes with me, sure, but sometimes that’s really all I know. So I stand on the ledges and I watch and wait for delicate things to unfold either into beauty or into ash.
Glory, in my opinion, always did exist in the tension of such stark contrasts.

the perfect date

Pretty close to exactly what I’m feeling today. That last line kills me.

mckenzieparker:


image

on my next first date,
in the brief space before the waiter offers a dessert list or check,
i want to throw the aggressive, reducing stare
the one you get to see
when being together means empty afternoons
and adjustments for more distance in the night
as if to explain how i behave when
i drink too much whiskey
or lose all sense of self
you deserve to see the painted picture of how it really is
when i get let down,
eventually my sensitive skin gets buried in false expectation
and life gets to where neither of us want it to be

you should know, under the right circumstances
i can be your girl,
your something, whatever blue-eyed angel
listening with both ears—
and the fullness of my painted crimson lips
i can be your dream under the covers
the lucid kiss on each cheek,
that you didn’t have to lean in for
asking the right questions,
i’ll show you the shadows you forgot to see

and like that,
the rooster in full-slumber
i’ll make it so sour, slippery to sudden death
so cold in the middle of the night when you reach for my arm
and i move to the couch
the sway of the sun can set the scene
for the most cumbersome grudge
that you won’t ever want to come home
“stay out with the boys,
i told you to just stay out with the boys”

that way, before the presentation of
a lemon meringue pie,
the fumbling for who will pay the bill
you’ll gasp at the other side,
catch a glimpse of how my best foot forward
got cut off at age twenty-three

yes, i said i wouldn’t be the cynic this year—
talked a good game about it being an infant’s way out
but that was before i met the man
who tattooed “marry me?” on his skin
only to be left with smeared ink across his palms two years later

the divorce rate is too high,
and it’s got me afraid to believe in much more than
wedding albums lit up in driveways
and rivers carrying rings to the ocean

so tell me now,
before the waiter comes back—
if you want to hear what i have to say about this thing here,
the dance we want to get at,
a holy ideal of mates and the mess we can make
if you want to hear how if this were to be something gold,
i’d refuse to give up,
but don’t believe the same for you