my crown and my joy

i remember the day we missed our train back to riggamore thanks to bad advice from some locals and we sat freezing as a storm rolled in across the ocean.

and even though the others were probably pissed that we were late or maybe they hadn’t even noticed, we were a thousand miles from home together and i was warm even though it was cold.
because you were next to me.

i miss the way your nose fit into the crook of my neck
the way, years ago, we used to lay in bed and laugh for hours
tangled up like secrets and falling and every good thing
back before we forgot to remember to see each other clearly

i miss your heartbeat under my palm as i would trace
the life in you, beat beat beating underneath me
i miss your voice like the twilight, sinking and honest surrounding me
slow and all at once, the way the day becomes the night

i miss your friendship full of adventure and newness
and every single thing i took for granted and and and
i’m left with my own beat beat beating within me
these days it’s become more of a stutter than an anthem
a haunting relentless reminder of what
is missing in the between
of what used to be

"Well if this is all just in my mind
Then, honey, would you mind
Getting out of mine…”

"Well if this is all just in my mind
Then, honey, would you mind
Getting out of mine…”

Today is my grandmother’s 85th birthday. I can’t think of anything more beautiful than the legacy she’s built. She loves us fiercely and she cherishes us deeply and she models endurance and strength and grit to each of us. There is no one in her world not touched and changed and challenged by her character. Oh and she plays one mean hand of cards. She is every kind of woman I want to be.

Today is my grandmother’s 85th birthday. I can’t think of anything more beautiful than the legacy she’s built. She loves us fiercely and she cherishes us deeply and she models endurance and strength and grit to each of us. There is no one in her world not touched and changed and challenged by her character. Oh and she plays one mean hand of cards. She is every kind of woman I want to be.

i like myself.
i like my life.
i like my job.
i like my friends.
i like my body.
i like my talents.
i like this photo from a caught-between-photos moment the other day. just chilling hanging out and not trying to be real cool. just scratching my face saying hi. i like that. a lot. 

and more than anything, i can feel the Lord moving in my world, bringing me into the fullest version of myself possible. so… things are good.

wait, things are great.

i like myself.
i like my life.
i like my job.
i like my friends.
i like my body.
i like my talents.
i like this photo from a caught-between-photos moment the other day. just chilling hanging out and not trying to be real cool. just scratching my face saying hi. i like that. a lot.

and more than anything, i can feel the Lord moving in my world, bringing me into the fullest version of myself possible. so… things are good.

wait, things are great.